Engelse dame van lichte zeden heeft een wel héél bijzonder verhaal over een komkommer

Uuuuuh, wat zei ze nou precies?

There was this one guy, he asked me if i'd put my whole hand up his arse and i told him to jog on. Like, f*ck off. No. No, no,no.
If I can't put a johnny on it or protect myself, then no, I'm not doing it.
So then he comes back about four weeks later with a cucumber, and it was like that long and it was like that fat.
And he put a johnny on it and he said "I want you to put it up my arse".

So i said all right, then. And i got 50 quid for it, though. So i just put the end bit up and he's going "No, i want you to ram it up, all the way".
And he took the whole cucumber. And then I said to him "Do you want me to throw it?", and he put it in his shopping bag and said no, he was taking it home to his wife for tea.
So his wife had had a cucumber for her tea that had been up his arse.